Cookie Catastrophe
by Red Witch
Summary: The Brotherhood bake some cookies in an attempt to calm Pietro down.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men or the Brotherhood who has been missing for how many episodes? What gives here? Well they have to do something during the time that they are absent….**

**Cookie Catastrophe**

"Evan, Evan, Evan," Pietro snapped. That's all I ever hear! Evan this or Evan that! I wish he **would **leave the school! Then people can talk about more important stuff, like me!"

"What happened this time?" Lance asked. 

"Turns out Daniels ain't leaving," Todd told him.

"Pity," Lance sighed.

"Yeah pity!" Pietro fumed walking back and forth on the carpet rapidly. "I was gonna have a party and everything! What gives? Either he leaves or he stays! That loser can't make up his mind. Not that he has much of a mind to begin with!"

"Pietro chill out man," Todd told him.

"Don't tell me to chill out! I can't believe it! I should have done something to get rid of him! Anything! I would have paid his bus fare! Even Toad is more reliable than that dweeb!" Pietro was walking faster. 

"I think I'll take that as a compliment," Todd rolled his eyes.

"You should because Evan Daniels is the lamest X-Geek of them all!" Pietro growled. "IhatehimIhatehimIhatehimIhatehimIhatehimIhatehimIhatehimIhatehim!"

"Pietro cut it out! You're wearing a path in the floor board!" Lance pointed out.

Pietro looked down. "Oh."

"If you're gonna rant do it outside!" Lance snapped.

"I don't wanna rant! I wanna kill him!" Pietro snapped. "No I take it back, I wanna make his life a living nightmare! I want him to be so miserable he'll wish he did leave! AGGGGHGHHH! IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY! MY BRAIN HURTS! I WANT HIM GONE! I WANT HIM GONE!" He threw himself on the floor and pounded his fists and legs wildly. 

"Here we go again," Fred sighed.

"I hate him!" Pietro screamed. "Lance talk me down! Somebody talk me down!" 

"Fred get him," Lance casually pointed. "Now Pietro, let's calm down now and use our indoor voice, shall we?" 

"He just makes me so mad," Pietro hissed through clenched teeth as Fred held him down. 

"Okay we gotta calm him down. Any ideas?" Todd asked.

"I have one," Fred said. "When I was real little and I had a tantrum, my grandma used to bake cookies. As soon as I saw her baking, I forgot about my problems and helped her bake. It always made me feel better."

"You know that's not a bad idea," Lance said. "I used to have cookies when I was little too. Fresh baked. How 'bout it Pietro?"

"You want some cookies?" Todd said nicely.

"Okay," Pietro replied in a subdued voice. "I wanna cookie."

"Well let's bake some!" Todd said.

"Okay I'm better now," Pietro said. "Let me up Fred. Thanks."

"No prob," Fred shrugged as he let him up. "Now let's go bake some cookies!"

"Now you're talking!" Lance rubbed his hands together as they made their way to the kitchen. 

"Alright!" Todd shouted. "Cookies!"

"I love cookies!" Fred crowed. "I love the smell of cookies, the taste of cookies, the texture of cookies, the taste of cookies, the way the aroma fills up the room, I love cookies!" 

"Okay so what do we do first?" Lance asked.

"Well," Pietro looked at the directions on a package of chocolate chips he took out of the cupboard. "Heat the oven, 350 degrees."

"Okay," Todd turned on the oven. It shuttered and nearly exploded. 

"Toad, you know you can't turn that oven on too fast or it will explode!" Pietro snapped. 

"Piece of junk," Todd muttered. 

"Okay let's put in the ingredients," Pietro threw in several items in a bowl. 

"Akkk!" Lance screamed as flour flew everywhere. Soon they were all covered with flour.

"Too much?" Pietro blinked through the white cloud.

"Ya think?" Todd snapped. 

"Okay now we mix it," Pietro went on as if nothing had happened.

"I'm gonna stand over here," Lance moved away.

"I'll join you," Todd did so.

Fred curiously peered over Pietro's shoulder as he started mixing the ingredients with a mixer at full blast. 

"Ahhh!" Fred screamed. "Pietro you've got the mixer on too fast!"

Pietro shut it off. They were covered in batter. "You're supposed to keep the batter in the bowl man!" Fred shouted.

"Oooh! Tasty!" Todd licked the batter off Pietro and Fred's faces. 

"Aggh!" Pietro gasped. "Attack of the Killer Tongue!" 

"Let's try this again," Lance sighed. 

Twenty minutes later….

"Hello my delicious little friends," Fred drooled as he looked through the oven window. "Soon you will be ready. Yes you will. Yes you will."

"Uh oh," Todd said. "He's talking to the cookies again."

"In a few more minutes you'll be ready to come out to play," Fred continued. 

"Lance…" Todd said.

"Freddy," Lance said. "Do you remember we had a little talk about this?"

"Soon, soon you will be free," Fred ignored him. "And we will be together."

"For a few minutes anyway," Todd snickered. 

"Yes we will all be so happy together in the land of Freddy's tummy," Fred had a glazed look in his eyes. 

"Okay Fred," Pietro said. "Some of those cookies are going into Pietro's tummy, Lance's tummy and Toad's tummy. Remember?"

"What about Tabby?" Todd asked.

"What about her?" Pietro snapped. "Let her bake her own!" 

"Soon we will be together," Fred cooed. "Yes we will."

"Hey let's save some of the cookies this time huh?" Lance said. "I can give some to Kitty."

"No!" Fred blocked the door to the oven in horror. "You are not giving away any of our precious cookies to some X-Geek!"

"I second him on this," Todd said. 

"Aw come on!" Lance pouted.

"Forget it!" Pietro snapped.

"Well I'll just take them!" Lance moved towards the oven.

Fred made a fist. "Do it and die!"

"Defend the cookies!" Pietro grabbed Lance.

"Give me those cookies!" Lance fought off Pietro. Soon Todd was on top of him as well. "Get off me! I want those cookies!" 

"Never!" Todd shouted. Soon they were all arguing and pushing and wrestling with each other in front of the stove.

"Leggo of me!" Lance shouted.

"Not until you promise not to give that X-Geek of yours any cookies!" Pietro snapped.

"Don't call her that!" 

"Why not? That's what she is!" Todd said.

"Get away from my cookies!" Fred shouted, putting Lance in a headlock. "They're mine! All mine!"

"Yours? How about us yo?" Todd started hitting Fred on his back.

"You promised me cookies!" Pietro wailed.

"I lied!" Fred shouted. 

"Oh no you don't!" Pietro screamed. "I want cookies!"

"Tough!" Fred shouted.

"I need those cookies!" Lance shouted.

"Oh no you don't!" Fred screamed. 

"You can't stop me!" Pietro used his speed to sneak past Fred. He grabbed at the stove. Unfortunately his hand hit the temperature dial accidentally. The oven rumbled and inside an orange glow formed. "That can't be good," Pietro said just before a huge explosion and flames came out of the oven. 

"The cookies!" Todd yelped. Soon the entire kitchen was covered in smoke. When it cleared, the boys were on the floor, covered in soot. Todd looked at the open oven door. "Nice going you idiots! Now they're nothing but charcoal! Thanks a lot!"

"My friends…." Fred blubbered. "WAAAHHH!" 

"I want cookies!" Pietro sobbed arms and legs flailing in another tantrum. 

"Kitty…" Lance moaned lying face down on the floor.

"Oh all of you shut up!" Todd snapped. He rested his hand on his chin. "Why am I the only normal person around here?" 


End file.
